


끌림 (Stuck On)

by ofreverentia



Series: 10 Stories [6]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Break Up, Broken Heart, Future Fic, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: When he received the message from Javier he didn’t feel the weight of the words, it took a few days for realization to hit him. As ridiculous it may sound it caught up to him mid jump, right as he was executing his ever trusty triple Axel.





	끌림 (Stuck On)

**Author's Note:**

> a/N: Prepare for the pain because we are experiencing Yuzuru post “Sorry”. Basically Yuzu POV of "Vanishing Days"

When he received the message from Javier he didn’t feel the weight of the words, it took a few days for realization to hit him. As ridiculous it may sound it caught up to him mid jump, right as he was executing his ever trusty triple Axel. The message flashed in front of his eyes and he came crashing down hard on the ice with a whimper. He could already feel the ugly bruise forming on his side and the worried shout of Brian from somewhere at the boards. His voice suddenly by his side but sounded as if he was under water, hands touching him to check if he was seriously injured and pulling him to his feet. Yuzuru on the other hand looked blankly in front of him, seeing but also not at the same time.

He felt a touch to his cheek turning his head into the direction of the voice calling his name repeatedly. Forcing himself to focus again, he looked into the scared eyes of Brian. “Ah...I am sorry. I okay...” As he uttered the words, the first tears started to trickle down his cheek. To his luck, the rink was mostly deserted but Brian quickly moved to shield him from any possibly prying eyes, a hint of understanding in his gaze. Yuzuru saw him only in a blur due to his tears but the way he got  enveloped in a supporting hug and slowly guided towards the edge of the ice, he had the impression his coach knew.

“Let’s get you to sit and checked out.” Yuzuru nodded and expected to be lead towards the lockers or the medic room but instead he found himself in Brians office, seated down on the old couch there. The moment the door closed behind his coach, he couldn’t contain his sobs anymore. Covering his face with his hands he cried harder than he ever had in the past, burying his face in the warm chest of his coach the moment he felt his arms around his shoulders. Yuzuru may have cried due to disappointment or happiness in his coaches’ arms before, squeezing them to ground himself but never due to heartbreak, loud ugly cries muffled against his chest. 

Javier was gone, they broke up, and he didn’t want Yuzuru anymore. He wasn’t worth the wait or effort, he himself didn’t give much effort anymore and only now where it was all lost did he see his mistakes. Brian brushed his dark hair in attempted comfort, letting him cry as long as he needed to. Yuzuru doesn’t know how long they stayed there but when he pulled he felt numb on one side, the skin tender on the hip he landed so harshly on. Brian silently offered a tissue and Yuzuru cleaned himself up as best he could, though his red and swollen eyes a clear sign of his previous state. Neither of them said a word not even when he packed his things up for the day and left the rink. After so many years, they didn’t always need to communicate to know what Yuzuru needed. 

Yuzuru didn’t return to TCC for the rest of the week, his planned training sessions cancelled and re-arranged for another time. Brian only sent him a quick message to let him know when he is ready to return, he shouldn’t worry about lost training time.

\----

Yuzuru didn’t let another outburst like that happen at the rink again, he kept his emotions safely hidden away from most of the people, only his direct coaches were aware of his emotional state. He took a week off before he resumed his training but it was obvious to those who have been around him that something was off. He spent less time on his phone, the amount of laughs and smiles dropped; even if he had smiled it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Yuzuru suffered his broken heart in silence, applying the same mentality like with his injuries. Obviously, the public didn’t know about his relationship in the first place, so did they not need to know he competed at Worlds with a broken heart.

He pushed himself past his limits, rejected most of the summer shows but for the sake of appearance accepted at least a few. As if Javier thought about the same they maneuvered around each other and aside from one stop at Fantasy on Ice their summer schedule didn’t overlap. Their interactions were short, civil and on the last night they even threw in a bit of fan-service with a quad battle but otherwise they avoided each other. None of the skaters or staff dared to ask what was the issue, if something happened between them. Those closest to them already knew and respected their privacy.

Javier returned to Spain or was somewhere in Japan, Yuzuru spent two weeks with his family in Sendai before he was back in Toronto again, preparing for another season. Being on the ice helped him to cope with his emotions though on particularly bad days he muffled his cries into his pillow, careful not to wake his mother with it, she already lost a bit of her son when Javier left. Yumi tried her best to support and comfort Yuzuru but there are limits to what a mother can in this situation. On the surface he was a driven skater, throwing himself into training and the competitions but on the inside he felt hollow. Javier left an empty spot behind both at TCC and not in his heart. Yuzuru didn’t even try to date having no interest in such matters not before a certain Spaniard nor after. To him only one person deserved to have his love.

\----

The location for the Grand Prix Final has been announced he dreaded his qualification. Barcelona, Spain. Yuzuru didn’t expect Javier to miraculously appear and watch or let him know that he will go there. He already felt emotionally unstable to spend his Birthday yet again alone, training for a competition. His mother as always cooked him his favorite meal, even prepared a small piece of cake, there was a small celebration at the rink as well but the pressure for the final loomed over them. Yuzuru didn’t have or didn’t want to have the time to think of anything else than skating and winning gold. If he stops for a moment, the emotions would take hold of him.

_I miss you so much, I get goosebumps_  
_I don’t even know why I’m like this_  
_I wish I knew_  
_Even in the middle of this_

_I can’t be free from you_  
_For even a single moment_  
_I can’t_

_My heart is going to you again_

Yuzuru stood on the top of the podium, the soft melody of his national anthem playing; giving his best media smile for the pictures, getting gold in the country of the man who broke his heart, whose heart he broke in return. He blamed his tearing eyes on the happiness for winning and the amount of camera flashes. Only his Team knew the true reason of his tearful eyes. 

Inside the privacy of his hotel room, looking out at the lights of Barcelona did he allow those tears to fall down, clenching at his phone hoping for a message which he knew would never come. He pressed his face into his palms, shoulders shaking as the sobs continued for hours. He felt stupid for thinking that maybe with him being in Spain it would mean Javier shows up at the competition or would at least send him a congratulatory message. They haven’t spoken since February, the last text in their conversation his own apology.

\----

As self-destructive, it may have been around the start of the new season he found himself exchanging a few messages with Laura. He didn’t dare ask how Javier was but occasionally she would try to hint on how unhappy her brother was since their break-up. Yuzuru admitted in one long message before Christmas, once the emotions from Barcelona settled down a bit, how much he regretted how things went, how he misses Javier and his heart still belonged to him. Laura turned into supporting pillar for him next to his family, coaches and a few friends.

\----

Javi ♥ [20/03/2021 00:05AM] I’m coming.

Yuzuru [20/03/2021 00:12AM] I’m waiting.

Yuzuru put his phone down on the bed next to him, staring out of of his bedroom window with a small hopeful smile forming on his lip. Maybe it wasn’t all too late to work things out.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I am having trouble with two stories that are planned "Mirror" and "뭐랬어 (What Did I Say?)" as the songs are still more about break up than actually mending it and I don't plan to write more about how the two deal with the break up.  
> I may just use the titles with no relation to the songs. The final song on the album is "Sentimental" and I think that will be more than a one-shot. We are nearing the end in a way! Thank you for reading and following this far!


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